December 9, 2006




  • A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune....

    "One US soldier is better than ten Taliban"

    The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes then ssilence. The voice then call out.....

    "One US soldier is better than one hundred Taliban"

    Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune, and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The voice calls out again....

    "One US soldier is better than one thousand Taliban".

    The enraged Taliban commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

    Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander..... "Don't send any more men... it's a trap... there's two of them!"...

  • One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.

    "We got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."

    The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for themeanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"

    The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"

    Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.

    "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.

    "I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."

December 8, 2006

  • on a deeper more intelectual note:
    "We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write "f**k" on their airplanes(or hummers) because it's obscene!"

  • "You smell that?  Do you smell that?...Napalm, son.  Nothing else in the world smells like that.  I love the smell of napalm in the morning.  You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours.  When it was all over I walked up.  We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body.  The smell, you know, that gasoline smell, the whole hill.  Smelled like - victory."

November 26, 2006

  • President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency:

    "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried.

    "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

    "Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.

    "I do need your help," said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"

    "Why certainly!  I'll get right on it!" said Clinton.

    "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Yeltsin.

    "Yes?"

    "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.

    "No problem," replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan.  "I need a favor, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."

    "Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.

    "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."

    "Easily done. Anything else?"

    "Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one."

November 21, 2006

November 4, 2006


  • Off to drill, give me a call, it gets really boring at times up there. will have the phone on silent so if i can i'll pick up and if not...i wont lol (and not get in trouble).

November 2, 2006

  • yes i love the words to this song
    Dang this sun
    
Dang this day
    
And I’m just trying to stay out of your dang ole’ way
    
The heck with this
    
The heck with us
    
Shoot if I ever look back on where I’ve been
    
Shoot if I ever give away my heart again
    

    Love you
    
Love this town
    
Love this mother lovin’ truck
    
That keeps breaking lovin’ down
    
There’s only one four-letter word that’ll do
    
Love you
    

    Love your cat
    
Love this house
    
Well I can’t believe myself
    
That I'm lovin' getting out
    
Love talkin'
    
Love fightin'
    
The thought of never seeing your lovin’ face
    
Some words that some words just have to replace
    

    Love you
    
Love this town
    
Yeah, I’m sick and lovin' tired of all your lovin' around
    
There’s only one four-letter word that’ll do
    
Love you
    

    Love you
    
Love this town
    
Yeah, I’m sick and lovin' tired of all your lovin’ around
    
There’s only one four-letter word that’ll do
    
Love you
    

    Love you
    
Love this town
    
Love this mother lovin’ truck
    
That keeps breaking lovin’ down
    
There’s only one four-letter word that’ll do
    
Love you
    
Love you
    
Love you
    
Love you, honey

November 1, 2006

  • somebody call me and tell me womethin interesting i am and have been bored outa my gourd for way too long

  • NEED to make sure your DL isnt on the net

    BLOCK YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE
    This is upsetting, thought I should pass it along. Check your
    drivers license... Now you can see anyone's Driver's License on
    the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was...picture and all! Thanks Homeland Security! Privacy, where Is our right to it? I definitely removed mine, I suggest you all do the same..... Go to the website and check it out. Just enter your name, City and state to see if yours is on file. After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law
    enforcement.

    http://www.license.shorturl.com/